Monday March 19, 2007

(Today’s post touches on a topic that might not be suitable for young, unmarried women.  If you are an unmarried young lady, living under your parents’ authority, I would ask that you consult a parent before reading my post today.  Thank you for your understanding.)    

     There are several things I could say about Dove’s new Pro-Age Skin Care ads. I could say that it really bugs me that I have to keep my home and garden magazines out of site of my children because of the fold-out print version of these ads.  In all honesty, the issues containing these ads are headed for the trash unread!  I could say that my husband and I were caught off guard by the video version of this ad shown before the previews the last time we went to the movies.  I could also be positive and say that it’s nice that Dove seems to believe that older women can still be beautiful despite their gray hair, age spots and those few extra pounds.  While all of those things are true, they do not begin to touch on why I feel so strongly about these ads.

     At 50 years of age, with age spots, wrinkles, extra pounds and plenty of gray hair, I am in the target group for these products.  Yet rather than being motivated to purchase Dove’s Pro-Age skin care line, I am instead saddened.  The Bible, our only standard for understanding what God requires of man, tells us this about older women:

          “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands, and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands that the word of God may not be reviled.” (Titus 2:3-5)

      At a time when the younger women of the church can be heard crying out, “Where are the older women spoken of in Titus 2?” these older women are shedding their clothing for public admiration.  God requires that the older women are to be reverent in behavior, teaching what is good.  Through their own behavior and teaching they are to train the younger women to love their own husbands, to be self-controlled, to be pure.  It is not reverent behavior, nor is it good, to expose to millions what should only be seen and admired by your own husband.

     Ladies I am no prude when it comes to married love.  In fact, I would be first in line to tell the younger married women of the vital necessity and pleasure of loving and caring for our husbands in the way that only a wife can. While it is nice, in theory, that Dove understands that older women still care about their appearance and want to look attractive; Christian women should seek only to be attractive to their own husbands, not to entice other men or for public accolades.  In fact, God cautions us that we, as women, should adorn ourselves in “respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…….with what is proper for women who profess godliness…” (I Timothy 2:9-10).  However, within our marriages, it is appropriate, and quite nice, for us to adorn ourselves differently, and to use skin softening lotions and perfumes for our own husbands!   You can find plenty of evidence for this in Song of Solomon!   In all other respects, though, our apparel should be modest and proper for women who profess godliness. 

     I’ve lived too long in this world to be shocked by these ads, but I am sad.  I’m sad that the women of my generation have so lost their way.  I’m sad that they have exchanged the things of God for the ways of the world. I’m sad that they are missing out on the wonderful opportunity of sharing the things of the Lord with their daughters and their grand-daughters.  I’m sad for the younger women who are left crying out, “Where are the older women?”

God bless you as you look well to the ways of your households!
Proverbs 31:27

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25 comments to Monday March 19, 2007

  • I so understand where you are coming from.
    I mentioned to my husband last night I was
    upset by some commercials I had seen. I
    don’t watch TV that much and when I do I
    don’t want to see women (or men) walking
    around with hardly any clothes on. It is sad
    to see where the world is going.

  • I so understand where you are coming from.
    I mentioned to my husband last night I was
    upset by some commercials I had seen. I
    don’t watch TV that much and when I do I
    don’t want to see women (or men) walking
    around with hardly any clothes on. It is sad
    to see where the world is going.

  • I was sad to throw out my gardening magazine with the Dove ad.  Shocked when I first opened it!  I even tried to go online to write to the editors about the disappointment of not being able to display the attractive (well, I think so) mags on the coffee table but because I’m sorta dumb with websites and I was running short on time I couldn’t figure out how to do it.  Sigh.  I am so with you on this one and really wondering about what the future holds as these women are setting the example for the younger ones – what will my daughters find in their gardening magazines – ACK!  If ever I had a bee in my bonnet this is it!  Is there anything we can do?  Is trying to keep it from our homes enough?  I’m not one to make a big scene about things but I just thought I’d ask….

  • Kristi – It is SO in my nature to want to write letters, make phone calls, etc…..but in the end it always feels so very much like beating my head against that proverbial brick wall.  I tried to find a way to contact Dove about this, too, with no luck; but truth be told, when I researched these ads a bit on line, they are being received very well by the world.  sigh…..  My Better Homes and Gardens magazine subscription is pre-paid for another year, but I may try to cancel and ask for a partial refund if the April issue contains the same ad.  I’m hoping to call BH&G today and see if I can get a live person on line to talk to about this.    I very much used to enjoy displaying a few magazines on my coffee table.  Better Homes & Gardens has been non-coffee-tableable for sometime due to the u’wear ads…same with Martha Stewart Living.  It is increasingly difficult for Christian women to use secular homemaking resources because of the nature of the advertisements.  I’m not sure what the answer is….  I do know that I will toss them out rather than chance one of my little boys opening them up!

  • I could not agree more!  I almost dropped the magazine when I saw one of these ads.  But I guess we ought to expect it- they’ve se*ed up the youngest of us and now they’re doing the same with the oldest.

  • Kendra said, “But I guess we ought to expect it- they’ve se*ed up the youngest of us and now they’re doing the same with the oldest.”    Truth be told, it really was the generation of these women, and those just before them, that were the “free love” anything goes youth of their day.  I guess that’s why I was not totally surprised by the ads.  Saddened, yes, but not surprised.  I’m 50 and was in jr. high in the height of the free-love movement and the rise of militant feminism.  The women portrayed in these ads were in their youth at that time, and would have been innundated with those two forces (if not active participants in them). 

  • preach it sister!:goodjob:

  • So sad, yes and I believe this is one of the reasons we are called to be separate from the world, and not to put these things before our eyes. However, this should be yet another wake up call to Christians to do whatever we can to make it known that not everyone wants to be inundated with such things. That we still do have morals based on the teachings of Christ.  Have you ever seen the movie “Timechanger” Though I am not big on time travel stuff it was a very good movie. (We muted some of the music)  It talks about trying to teach morality apart from the teachings of Christ and how that does not work.   I am excited to have found your blog.  It is a joy to read and I pray you will continue to use it to teach the younger women (and us older).

    Blessings.

  • So sad, yes and I believe this is one of the reasons we are called to be separate from the world, and not to put these things before our eyes. However, this should be yet another wake up call to Christians to do whatever we can to make it known that not everyone wants to be inundated with such things. That we still do have morals based on the teachings of Christ.  Have you ever seen the movie “Timechanger” Though I am not big on time travel stuff it was a very good movie. (We muted some of the music)  It talks about trying to teach morality apart from the teachings of Christ and how that does not work.   I am excited to have found your blog.  It is a joy to read and I pray you will continue to use it to teach the younger women (and us older).

    Blessings.

  • I agree with you. While I am happy that Dove is embracing beauty in all forms and not just “perfect” model beauty, I don’t like having all that beauty displayed for everyone to see! It is sad that these women are once again being influenced by non-Godly things. Don’t get me wrong, they are lovely women, I just didn’t want to be exposed to all their loveliness. *sigh*

    Thank you for being a role model for your generation. (and those that follow) I wish there were more Titus 2 ladies out there like you.

  • :wave: :yes:
    You heard my cry from a few post ago.“Where are the older women?”
    I said they were ALL to busy working caught up in the rat-race.
    I too am sorely disappointed with ALL of the s*x publicly displayed
    in our magazines,tv, billboards..media in general. I too want my husbands eyes to be filled with me.
    I dress for him and should not have to compete with the world bombarding him daily with other thoughts.
    The enemy tries so hard to desensitize(??sp) our husbands,children, so they no longer recognize wrong.
    😥 I have a daughter struggling now because of images she has seen. 😥
    Thank you for your post!!!
    Blessings,
    Angie

  • Mrs. Copper’s Wife,

    Thank you for saying it like it is! Your Scripture references were “right on,” and your comments were beautiful.

  • While at the grocery store I opened a magazine and was shocked to see a naked ‘older’ woman on a Dove ad. Sure, the obvious parts were covered by her arm/leg, but my goodness! I receive Cooking Lite and Cottage Living in the mail. Even with these magazines I go through and remove ads before putting it in my living room. The Dove ads are a new venture into what is ungodly, imho.

  • Well said…I was SHOCKED to open it up, and find that first page ad…(any page ad of that nature would be horrific though)…dropped my subscription immediately and tossed the issue (sadly) into the trash.  No way I can risk my kids seeing it, and my husband and I don’t want to either.  Worse yet, I went to their website to leave a comment, but you have to call an 800#.  So I went to their bloglines, and was horrified by all the scads of women who support the ads.  Even applaud BH&G for them.  Two or three spoke up, horrified as you and I are–and they were knocked over the head with the proverbial frying pans for their “frigidness” and refusal to accept bodies as beautiful etc.  They were blasted and belittled.  It was unreal.  I guess I am a bit sheltered, but I didn’t expect such a tongue-lashing from BH&G readers–to other readers protesting the ads.  Several mentioned that they hoped their young children saw the ads so that they could open conversation about how beautiful the body is, at all ages, etc.  Wow.

    Sorry to blog your blog, but this was such a hot issue for me.  Bummer that I won’t be reading BH&G anymore.  Thanks for the wonderful insightful blog today!  Blessings to your household, ~Tea

  • Well said…I was SHOCKED to open it up, and find that first page ad…(any page ad of that nature would be horrific though)…dropped my subscription immediately and tossed the issue (sadly) into the trash.  No way I can risk my kids seeing it, and my husband and I don’t want to either.  Worse yet, I went to their website to leave a comment, but you have to call an 800#.  So I went to their bloglines, and was horrified by all the scads of women who support the ads.  Even applaud BH&G for them.  Two or three spoke up, horrified as you and I are–and they were knocked over the head with the proverbial frying pans for their “frigidness” and refusal to accept bodies as beautiful etc.  They were blasted and belittled.  It was unreal.  I guess I am a bit sheltered, but I didn’t expect such a tongue-lashing from BH&G readers–to other readers protesting the ads.  Several mentioned that they hoped their young children saw the ads so that they could open conversation about how beautiful the body is, at all ages, etc.  Wow.

    Sorry to blog your blog, but this was such a hot issue for me.  Bummer that I won’t be reading BH&G anymore.  Thanks for the wonderful insightful blog today!  Blessings to your household, ~Tea

  • Very well said; it is saddening.  I just hope I can accept aging gracefully and be a good role model as was my grandmother, a perfect example of a Titus 2 lady.

    Debbie

  • Oh yes! talk about shock when I opened my better homes and garden mag. I was upset. I do hope that you called Dove- I am getting ready to send them a letter- I got advertisement in mail too. I will not buy Dove products. I wrote Better Homes and Garden’s- I am hoping they will pull the advertisement. One of my friends canceled her subscription- I’ve not gone that far. I will not buy Women’s Day and Family Circle because of their naked lady ads and the Sperm Donor mom article —- I no long consider that to be a “family” magazine. I have one son left at home- once in awhile will pick up my mag. I do not want him view such stuff. Also, walked in one of my local grocery stores- Vanity Fair Magazine- guy in suit holding a naked lady- this was where children could see it. I told the checker. I had spoke to the last library at our library similar- usually I get the “you have two heads, or what planet did you come off of look” but I believe we must speak out against this— part of being salt and light in our community if we do this in kind way.

  • Thank you for speaking about this. I think there are a lot of people who are unhappy with the s*x being peddled in formerly “safe” places, but who are too timid to speak. I *always* say something at the grocery store, sometimes to my children’s chagrin. Recently I was at Raley’s, and right at the checkstand, where you wait while the checker tallies up your loot, there were some DVDs for sale, including a recent release called “Babel.” I looked at it while waiting for my total, and saw it was rated R for “explicit sexuality.” I asked if there was an age restriction for purchasing such movies and the checker said there wasn’t. I pondered that perhaps there could be issues with giving p*orn to minors in the grocery store, and she agreed it was a problem and gave me a form to send to store headquarters to complain.

    I’m going to the dentist with my children today. I’ll see if BH&G is there, and if it is, I’ll say something :-).

  • Carmon – Wow, I like that you took on the checker over the movie at the grocery checkout.  I’m glad she responded half-way favorably.   I got dirty looks from a checker at a big box store for turning around virtually every magazine at the check out display once (one I decided to turn back around because the front cover was less disgusting than the back!).   I think it helps to speak up.  It might not change anything, or at least not much, but it’s just another way of letting our light shine before men. 

  • Excellent post. I haven’t seen the ads and I don’t want to!

  • I agree so much. Ok, so Dove is saying that older women are beautiful… if they are scantily clad or in their birthday suits! How does that change anything? It’s still just the same old, same old – you must show yourself off in order to be classified as any kind of beautiful.

    What really saddens me is that these older women should know better than to take their clothes off for corporate profit!

    http://www.milehimama.blogspot.com

  • Mrs. Copper’s wife,

    Thank you so much for this post. I am mom of four little ones including a five month old son (our first boy) and I am really concerned about exposing my children to these sorts of things when simply waiting in line at Wal Mart! I have occasionally turned around magazines before but I thought maybe that was silly (?). Now with the knowlege of an older lady in Christ doing the same thing I will flip them with confidence ;).  It was hard enough when we had justgirls but now with a son it has taken on a whole other dimension for us. I am with you. It is really disheartening to wonder how far this is going to go :(.

    That said I just want to thank you for sharing your thoughts, your knowlege and your life through your blog. I have been reading since your home organization posts (I think I got here from Tammy’s Recipes) and I have found your posts to be so inspirational for a mom of young ones. THANK YOU for being an “older woman” for us “younger women”. We need you! and we APPRECIATE you :)! Thanks so much!

  • I finally saw the ads and was saddened and even angered….can you not be beautiful and wear clothes…
    I won’t be buying any Dove products any time soon!

  • I finally saw the ads and was saddened and even angered….can you not be beautiful and wear clothes…
    I won’t be buying any Dove products any time soon!