It’s Not Static

How we care for our homes changes over time. The ways I am looking well to my household today, are not the same as they were last year or the year before. We must be very careful to not become too comfortable in the way we do things, thinking that those ways will work forever. If we fail to adapt to the changing seasons of life, our families and our homes will suffer.

Our families are not static – new babies are born, elderly parents and grandparents need extra care, older children leave the home for college or to establish homes of their own, and family members die. The way we care for our homes, the cooking, the cleaning, the homeschooling, the outside activities, all must reflect the changes in our family dynamics.

My husband and I were blessed to be able to care for both of our mothers in our home during their battles with cancer. However, we understood that we’d need to alter our household for that season. Older children gave up bedrooms, and much of their own free time, to help care for their grandmothers. Younger children learned the need to keep activities quiet on the hard days and to be thankful for the good days. The meals we cooked, the way we managed household chores, how we homeschooled and dealt with activities away from home were all very different than the way we handled them before.

We were able to take care of our mothers because we were willing to change with the season of life we were in. When our moms passed away, we did not simply go back to the way things were before they came to live with us. We couldn’t! Life isn’t static! The children were a bit older and had matured a lot from the experience. My husband and I had grown from the experience, too.


Last spring, as my oldest son and I began knocking heads on a regular basis over homeschooling, I realized a shift in things was necessary. I spent weeks researching options. Once the decision was made to make a curriculum change, several weeks were spent in getting familiar with the new curriculum, lesson planning and implementing the new curriculum. Because of that, we had no garden last year. Though it meant spending more money at the store on produce all spring and summer long, it was a better use of my time and our resources to deal with the homeschool issue.

Dani took on a lot of the household duties during that time, but the truth is a lot of things just went undone. My family was better served by my using the time for homeschool planning than they would have been if I’d used that time to clean closets, plant a garden, or move large pieces of furniture to vacuum underneath.

This spring, my husband and I have tackled some big financial issues together leaving no time to even think about a garden. Dani knew that she could handle a small garden on her own. Aaron tilled the garden area for her, and she raked the beds up and planted. She’s doing all the work in the garden, and we’re all looking forward to tasting the results of her hard work! Several years ago it wouldn’t have been possible for us to have a garden without my husband and/or I doing the majority of the work. Seasons change and not only is that now possible, it’s also the most practical way for a garden to happen.

 


We need to learn when to let go of things, too, even when it’s hard. Some things we do because we love to do them, but other things we continue to do because we think we are supposed to, or need to, or simply because we always have done them. We need to be willing to let go of even the things we love to do when it’s in the best interests of our family.

I love to cook! I love to chop onions, saute vegetables, mix ingredients and everything that has to do with making delicious meals from scratch. Our schedule right now, though, allows only a couple of days each week for me to cook that way. Dani cooks a couple of nights, too, but on the other nights meals are just simpler. I’ve learned to love the days that I can make a meal from scratch, but I don’t feel any guilt for the nights that I brown ground beef and open a jar of store bought spaghetti sauce to pour over our pasta.

We need to constantly review the things we do in our homes and make modifications, big and small, in a timely manner. Life isn’t static, and we can’t remain static either.

Review! Modify! It’s one of the many ways that you can look well to the ways of your household.

How are things in your home? Are there systems that worked in the past that might need an overhaul?

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22 comments to It’s Not Static

  • That is an awesome post!  How true it is that our lives are not static and that things are constantly changing.  I love the way you have tied this idea into our need to see that the changes are an area that we need to keep looking well to our households….

    Thanks!

    Deanna

  • I thank you for “making it okay” to changing up our household routines to fit our lives.  Sometimes I feel guilty when this is necessary.  I am now looking to dive into sewing.  I am looking to purchase a simple sewing machine and learning how to sew.  I did sew when I was younger and my mom always sewed.  I was looking to purchase some aprons and realized, I can make my own for so much less money and have fun doing it.  Do you have any suggestions where I can purchase inexpensive patterns and fabric?  

    Have a blessed day In HIM. 

  • We’re going through quite a bit of readjustment here in our home too, Cheryl.  Right now we’re considering revamping how we do laundry.  Currently it is done by everyone.  There are 3 loads done per day with each day having it’s own deligated items.   We’re finding that we need to make an adjustment to that and start delegating a day for the children to do their laundry.  It is taking some thought and discussion though.  For now, we’re staying with the old system until we can come up with a new one.

    We’ve also had some curriculum readjustments to make this year as well.  Switching mid-year has always thrown me for a loop.  I’d much rather “make due” unti lthe end of the school year and then change.  I think it is that little voice in me that says, “You don’t want to waste the money you spent on this curriculum!”  Unfortunately, that isn’t how things ought to be.  My husband tells me that we can get items when the need for change occurs and sell the old stuff.  I know…I need to be more maliable. 

    With all that said, I’m thinking that we need to revamp our schedule…just a bit.  It seems to be sort of fluid…changing with the shifting of needs….which is a good thing. 

    Blessings,

    Regina

  • We ended up sending our son to the community college for some of his junior year of high school and all of his senior year, even though the cost was significant.  We realized there was no way he could get into the University which turns many people away… much less get good grades… if he didn’t have that instruction in the lab sciences and advanced math.  That original investment has paid of many times over in him getting on the Dean’s List and receiving scholarships.

    Stephanie just changed her curriculum this year after homeschooling a few years and realizing hers was not working well with her kids.  The new one (Tapestry of Grace) has been wonderful for them and she just found a new science curriculum that she knows they will like.

    Sigh… I must admit my biggest changes have come with the affects of chronic illness as each year I physically can do less. However, hubby built the raised bed garden for me a few years ago and we hope to expand it soon.  Thanks to his hard work, I can still garden even with constant fatigue!  It’s only when we give up that we run into trouble!   (((HUGS)))

    Oh, I tried to link to your article about building a home library and it wasn’t working.  Could have been a temporary server problem last week?

  • beautiful post!!!  so timely for any of us and for all of us.  will be “recommending”and “sharing”.

    Alesha
    Obtaining Mercy

  • @DeannaRabe – Just one of the many things the Lord has taught me over the decades. He is so faithful to us.

  • @buana – Good for you for learning to sew again! Where I live, the best bet for inexpensive fabric and patterns is the local Jo-Anns store. Patterns are frequently on sale for $.99. If you sign up for their mailing list, you’ll receive their ads, which often offer fabric at a good discount, and always feature good coupons 40% off, sometimes 50%, on regular priced merchandise. We’ve also found patterns and fabric at garage sales. If you want to make cute aprons you can also check for pretty tablecloths, etc. at your local thrift store.

  • @Homeschoolmummyx3 – Just take things one step at a time, and seek His wisdom as you go.

  • @BrendaKayN – I’m always inspired by the way you’ve managed to keep on through your illness, Brenda!  I’m currently revamping my library posts, and they should be available again soon. I’ll be sure you know when they’re up again. Thanks for thinking of linking up to the post!

  • @copperswife –  I will be linking when it is up to date.  It’s one of the best articles about building a home library I’ve read!  🙂

  • @buana – Check the thrift stores for both patterns and fabric.. .  you might be surprised what you find.  Alos, if available, Wal Mart has a good selection of fabric.  It’s usually half the price of name brand fabric store fabric.  They carry patterns as well.  Garage sales, ebay. . .

    Have fun learning to sew.  I love it!

  • @BrendaKayN – Thank you, Brenda. You bless!

  • Loved LOVED this post! I could’t agree more. We’ve had to change things over time, and letting go of our garden was one of them this year. We also made the decision to have mini-stay-cations this summr instead of our regular week long trip to Sunriver.  We made different financial decisions to better serve our family. Blessings to you! ~Denise

  • @copperswife – Thanks Cheryl!  I have been in prayer about it all and the more I pray, the more “little” things I find need tweeked here and there.  LOL  I haven’t even touched the revamping yet because I firmly believe in bathing it in prayer first, discussing it with my husband and getting his input, then putting the plan on paper.  It will probably be a couple weeks before we get to that point…at least.  🙂 

  • @copperswife – Thank you so much for the tips!  We have a Jo-ann’s and as you suggested, I signed up with my email address. I heard that the Walmarts were starting to put back their sewing departments!  I will be checking it out this weekend.  They also have a Brother sewing machine for a great price…great starter machine.  I will also check some local garage sales (on saturdays) and ebay too.  I used to go with my mom to the Rag Shop for fabric, but, they are out of business :(. 

  • @betheelou – Thanks also for the tips!

  • @fourkidsonemom – I love the idea of the stay-cation! We’ve done things close to home, with just a couple of day trips mixed, in for the last few years. I didn’t think the boys were enjoying it, but Will asked the other day if we were going to do “summer fun” again! Ha! I guess he enjoys it!

  • @Homeschoolmummyx3 – Remember to take baby steps and not try to do too much all at once! 

  • You are absolutely right! Life isn’t static. Life can change in an instant. I really enjoy your writing.
    Blessings,
    Carol

  • @copperswife – Thank you Cheryl!  Baby steps is certainly a good reminder.  I will probably let everything sit and “stew” (not a bad way of course), until after portfolios and evaluations are done by the end of June.  That’s when I take a look at the previous year a little more seriously.  From now until then, though, I’ll observe how we do things, looking for ways to tweek things to make them run a little more smoothly.  Like you, I’ve had a 15 year old who needed some curriculum changes this year.  😉

  • Thanks for this post. It is such a good reminder to re-evaluate the goals of our family and make changes as needed. 

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